Rockstar greeted me a day ahead of my birthday. He was up to something, I know, and sure enough, a couple of minutes later into texting me, he casually asked to be paid back. I knew it. Under the guise of greeting, he wanted money.

When he broke up with me last Valentine’s day, (I know, he just had to choose that particular day to tell me of his plans of “growing wings”), I was in a state of frenzy. Shopping frenzy, to be exact. As soon as he left, I immediately called the driver and asked to be brought to the mall. I was like a horse on a racetrack; I headed for the ATM machine, withdrew all our money (we had a joint account), and spent lavishly on bags, shoes, what-have-you’s. I wasn’t thinking at all, nor was there guilt or remorse at the fact that he carefully saved up the money that I was carelessly spending. I had one mantra playing over and over in my head.

To hell with you.

I was chanting this in my head when I spotted a denim LV speedy and I knew I just had to get it. Because I was running out of cash, his cash, whatever, I pulled out my extension of dad’s plastic. Needless to say, I got myself in trouble when he got the statement. With that bag, I could feed 120 poor families for a week, or even two. Sigh. Like I said, I wasn’t thinking. I was shopping myself silly.

I remember, when I found out that my dad cheated on my mom, I also pulled out his plastic and bought myself a nifty Tiffany necklace. I got away with that; he didn’t dare to bring it up, otherwise I would have lashed right back at him and I won’t even regret my words.

So, dahlings, if we got into a fight, keep your credit cards away from me, especially the gold or black ones. Trust me, you wouldn’t want to bawl like a baby when you get your statement. I’m dangerous that way. Tsk.

Back to the money-begging scenario with Rockstar. Of course, when he found out that the account was empty and deactivated, it was but natural for him to be angry at me. But I just retorted back, “Why, when you broke up with me, were you really thinking? Did you really think about me? Apparently not. So, shut up and I will pay you when I feel like paying you.” With that, he stopped bugging me. And he eventually went back to his old flame who got back from the US. It seemed to me that I was his “transitional” girlfriend the entire time the midget was away. And how convenient for them to hook up shortly after he broke up with me.

Oh my gawd. I’m turning 26 and I’m so bitter. Haha. Of course I’m over him. I can laugh at them now, at how mousy and clingy his new gf looks. Oh, surely he could do better! I am actually insulted that she’s no better than the typical Dalagang Bukid (Farm Maiden). They upload pictures at their Friendster account daily, and I could see how we were. All dewy and lovestruck, staring at each other’s eyes and vainly attempting to snap a photograph while at it. Oh puhlease.

Right. I’m still bitter. Haha. Oh gawd, why oh why can’t I just blow a birthday cake and rip the wrappers off my birthday presents?

The last time I did that was when I was 12. Oh, I forgot, yeah, when I turned 18 and had my debut. Yep, blowing candles. After that, I’ve been blowing anything but candles. Tsk.

At this point of my entry, I would have to acknowledge all those people who have become my friends for the past few months. You know who you are. Some are just on chatting terms, but nonetheless inspiring and worthwhile. Some of you whom I have turned down have willingly remained friends with me. I really appreciate that. These people have unwittingly helped me pull through, one way or another. And to you, who untiringly cheered me on through life, helping me forget and encouraged me to become who I want to be, THANK YOU. I no longer speak to some of them, but I know they still read my quirks. Thank you for being with me, and with that, I know I am not quite alone.

As I turn 26 tonight, I know I am loved and adored, and that is the most peaceful feeling I could possibly have. I feel quite wholesome, actually. That’s a first for The Bitch Goddess.

So, on to my birthday wishes.

1. Travel to Edinburgh
2. Good family relations
3. Blessings, blessings, blessings
4. More accounts
5. See my old and real friends

That’s about it, I guess. And oh, World Peace. 😀

Thank you for your greetings! You may still send ’em to thebiatchgoddess(at)gmail(dot)com.