It’s been long overdue, but I only had the luxury of time just now to watch the entire first season of Rome. I was able to watch snippets of some episodes on HBO before, but I was surprised at how much they cut out some rather “pleasant” scenes until I watched the DVD.

There were tons of frontal nudity, on both males and females, and I rather found it amusing at how they treated coitus with such nonchalance that it was as casual as eating bread and drinking wine. How I would love to have a mother (or father) to insist on having my first sexual encounter, and pay for it, as on young Octavio’s case. I still can’t quite get over having attendants to wait on you during sex, fanning your, err, fanny. And after Marc Antony came on top of Atia, these servants came rushing as she snapped her fingers and demanded “Water!”.

Anyway, I am lusting after Ray Stevenson, the god who plays Titus Pullo, the brute who willingly fucked Cleopatra, and unknowingly fathered her child (as suggested in the series). “A ferocious lover of life, possessing the courage and loyalty of a warrior, but the morality of a pirate. A man of huge appetites and wild passions. Impulsive, unreflective, optimistic, conceited, generous, and brutal.”

Whew, my kind of man. He’s exactly what I want. His character in the series, at least.Can anybody play pretend and be Titus Pullo? Well, Ray? Seriously, I’ve never lusted after anyone like this. Not even as close as I did after Clive Owen. He is so fucking hot. Pardon my cussing, but really, Ray as Titus simply sizzles in my book.

Oh, Ray dahling, be the father of my babies! Okay, I can’t have babies. Don your Roman costume and let’s have coitus then!