Once I die, I want to be put in a plain black laquered box and be buried in my red, ‘Fuck me’ stilettos which I never had the chance to wear because you already said goodbye before Amazon mailed it.

My debts from all that mindless shopping to numb the pain will be void and I will have everything that needed to be settled sent to you by Mom.

And I want my epitaph to say:

Here lies The Bitch Goddess, one who greatly loved and will always be Dyster.

Goodbye, everyone.