Call me cheesy, but…

Let me share my most treasured poem of all time.

Love Sonnet 116
Shakespeare

Let me not to the marriage of true minds
Admit impediments; love is not love
Which alters when it alteration finds,
Or bends with the remover to remove:
O, no, it is an ever-fixèd mark,
That looks on tempests and is never shaken;
It is the star to every wand’ring bark,
Whose worth’s unknown, although his height be taken.
Love’s not Time’s fool, though rosy lips and cheeks
Within his bending sickle’s compass come;
Love alters not with his brief hours and weeks,
But bears it out even to the edge of doom.
If this be error and upon me proved,
I never writ, nor no man ever loved.

If you take the time to figure this poem out, you’ll know he’s right.

Unwell

I  haven’t been feeling emotionally well as of late. The weather isn’t of much help, either.

I’m seriously craving for a joint or two. And get stoned. And get things sorted in my hazy state.

I still can’t quite figure out what I really want. How can I? If that other person doesn’t even know what he wants out of…this.

Or if he wants me at all.

Matchbox 20 sings it better.

Going Crazy…But The Good Kind of Crazy.

The productive kind of crazy.

I plurked earlier that I haven’t slept all night. I spent it tossing and turning, thoughts racing in my head faster than my breath. My head started to hurt so much that I had to literally scream at myself to STOP THINKING! Obviously, it didn’t work and I got myself all worked up even more. It came to a point where at 5 AM, I was sitting in our living room, waiting for the sunrise, and begging myself (or my head) to go to sleep. It was THAT bad.

There are so many things to do, so many projects to attend to that I don’t even know where to begin! I’ll try to list them down by order of importance:

  • Launch of my dad’s Heart Foundation – December 5: The Department of Health, Dad’s hospital, colleagues and friends put up a heart fund for Mindanao’s indigents in his memory. I’m responsible for the AVP (and I haven’t even started shooting yet!), the website, media kits, press conferences, setting up the launch, and attend to gov’t officials and VIPs (smirk) and make their stay as comfortable as possible. This is what I actually do for a living (media and events) and it goes without saying that I’m doing this pro-bono. Not complaining here. I’m just overwhelmed with the tons of tasks.

  • My dad’s 1st year Death Anniversary – November 27: We haven’t had huge parties since dad died, but on this day we anticipate over 400 guests flocking the compound. My dad was fond of parties, alright, but he actually preferred hanging out with his staff (janitors, maintenance crew, admin) than his MD colleagues. He once said it is those little people who really matter to him, as they keep him grounded.

  • I’m opening a new coffee shop/café – end of December: I’m blessed to have a fairy godfather who fulfills my dreams. It was a long time coming, and quite unexpectedly, things turned to our favor. I will be signing the lease this week and construction should start by next week (IF I can find carpenters and painters at such short notice). My mind is racing as to which furniture to get, the color of the walls, the interiors, café operations and what not. I need to educate myself with coffee, too!

  • Get new accounts for my media company – this week: My business partner has been nagging to do heavy marketing for our company. I’ve neglected this one since the Swede arrived. I thought I’d recoup by December by the time he leaves so I can focus, but with the new developments of our family businesses, now is the time to refocus before it gets realllllyyy busy. The other day, I started buying those giveaway boxes that match our corporate look and prepare for Christmas favors to hand out to clients and media friends.

  • Write a month’s worth of articles for the paper – this weekend: My entertainment editor has been putting up with my late articles and quite often as of late, with no submissions at all. I’ve been feeling guilty because he’s the most cheerful editor one can ever have and he hardly gets angry, too. Now where the hell do I squeeze in my writing time?!

  • Plurk, or lose my nirvana status – SOON

    • I’ve always been guilty of this habit of biting more than I can chew, and these series of events once again prove how I love having tons on my plate. I like being busy, the feeling of being responsible for something or someone.

    I just wish my dad can see that I’ve finally grown up.

    Anticipation

    Well, hello there. It’s been what, 5 months since my last entry? I’ve been meaning to fix the look of this blog, but I can’t be bothered. I apologize for the laziness. And so it remains as I left it.

    But alas, I cannot be parted from writing. It’s the only reason why I remain sane. 

    So, how have YOU been?

    I have been working my ass off the last couple of months, trying to be that ‘responsible’ daughter my dad never lived to see, and just basically tried to live the mundane life. 

    And now, I’m terribly burned out, stalling tasks and jobs that will set me back a full month. Why it has come to this, I don’t know. I find myself waking up later than usual (it’s 11 AM now. It used to be 10 AM *yeah, yeah, I know. Try running your own company yourself, you’ll love its perks*), and instead of the usual routine of checking emails and sending replies, I head over to the couch and watch just-downloaded episodes.

    A few days from now, and for the next two months, my life will be in suspended motion. The Swede lover comes to visit. Being his nth time now, I anticipate things to be more fun and in a way, serious. He may not be aware of it, but the October month marks our anniversary, and this year is our second.  We are at that phase where we have to decide…things. You know, the usual stuff that makes guys cringe. I tried avoiding the topic for the longest time knowing full well how he feels about it. Maybe we’ll talk about it, maybe not. More than anything, I want this to work. I think I deserve something stable for once, don’t you think?

    I’m annoyed at myself, though. I can’t get my work mojo back! I need it back RIGHT NOW before I get distracted when he arrives next week.